Umm I'm too high to move.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
