I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy