Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.