I bet he comes in French.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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