It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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