Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
