yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize