She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
