I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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