Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
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She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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