Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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