well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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