Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
