it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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