I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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