good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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