I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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