i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you