Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.