I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window