He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it