Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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