I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize