I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize