And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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