My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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