pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am mentally ready for anal.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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