guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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