So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You're a disaster
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