remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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