well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize