in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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