idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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