I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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