Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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