I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
