We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
