do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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