Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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