if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize