so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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