Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He? As in you personified your dick?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
