Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize