Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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