Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.