he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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