Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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