U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize