I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
