So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
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I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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