I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.