do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.