The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
