she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
